For the first time in years I’m not afraid of September. September has been a tough month in the past. My grandfather’s passing, my beloved Bugsy’s death, the stress and anxiety around our wedding a couple of years ago… and just the overall feeling that can come with September. Back to school, back to reality, back to shorter days, changing of the weather. A lot happens for many of us in September before you take the personal tragedies and celebrations into consideration.
So, it feels awesome that I’m not currently dreading September. I finally feel like I’m in a really beautiful place. I have balance. Woah…. I can’t believe that just spewed out of my heart. Balance. It’s true. Insert heart swelling with pride over how far I’ve come.
Two years ago, September 3rd 2015, was the hardest day of my life up to that point. It started out promising to be the absolute best day and ended in unimaginable tragedy. Yeah I can be dramatic but that is honestly how it felt. Everything within me came undone.
I don’t feel like revisiting that. I’ve done a lot of work to let go, forgive, move on… but that day changed me. It showed me just how dark my shadow side is. It took months to find someone resembling myself after that. The corpse that walked around as if it was me… just wasn’t.
Embracing those seemingly unbearable parts of our past is very important, especially the days or experiences that have shaped who we are now. When you’re in it you just want to get out. But as I’m sure you’ve learned… the only way out is to accept. Once you accept you can begin to find gratitude and then the path back to yourSelf becomes dimly lit so you can begin to find your way again.
September is my thing. You have yours.
Don’t fear it. Don’t dread it. Appreciate it.
Don’t fear September. It’s behind you and if you haven’t healed yet, you’ll get there. Be real. If you feel like a rock, be a rock and stay in bed until you’re ready for something else; if you feel like a ray of sunshine then take that opportunity to embrace all the light that’s shining from within you. We are dark and we are light and we are everything in between. Above all we are love. And even if you hate this saying I truly believe everything happens for a reason and that there are lessons for us in everything. What is your September trying to teach you? Listen closely and you will be guided to your best Self.
Love, Always. RO