There’s the past…. that’s where we’ve been. And there’s the future, that’s where we’re going. As I discussed in my previous post, the only place we can actually be is here and now. I’ve recently been feeling like this is the “in between”. I’m somewhere in the middle of a transformation.
It’s really hard work redefining yourself.
I used to define myself as a self-sufficient business woman; then I became a backpacker, a world traveller, a nomad. And now…. what am I?
So here I sit in the “in between”. The terms I’ve used to define myself in the past don’t quite work anymore. I am not wandering around the world and I have no plans to do that again any time soon. But I also don’t know what I’m becoming. So here I sit, undefined.
A few people have called me out on my lack of confidence lately and it struck a cord because I’ve always been relatively confident… or at least portrayed myself that way to the world. This lack of confidence is related to my lack of connection. Who am I? What am I doing?
We all use them, we all have them. In this space, in between labels or definitions, I feel lost. It begs the question, why do we need to define everything?
In between who I was and who I am becoming is a sacred place. Right now, I’m learning some of the most important things that will help me in the future. I am being shaped for success. And it’s tough. But it’s beautiful.
In between feels awkward, disconnected, uncertain. I have felt dissected, by no one other than myself. These days the tools I call upon most often are patience and perseverance. In time I will find my center again. For now I’m like a recently exploded star that’s trying to pull everything back together again. The science doesn’t quite match the metaphor I’m trying to make here… but hopefully you get the picture. (I was a bright star, I had reached my full potential and exploded from awesomeness. Now my start dust is beginning to gather again to form a new way for me to shine.)
The In Between
If you’re somewhere in the middle of a transformation and you’re learning how to shine in a new way, don’t fight it. Give in to this space in between. This is where the real magic happens. This is where you grow. This is where you learn to be better than you were before. Find peace in chaos. Trust that you are on the right path. Be patient and keep going.